Never Too Old for Toys

Thanksgiving is upon us, and that means winter break is right around the corner. For a lot of us, it’s the gift-exchanging time of the year. So what’s on your list this year? Adult toys perhaps? For many of us, the world of adult toys is foreign and it can be hard to find the right purchase with so many options out there. So I thought I’d give you the quick version of Sex Toys 101, with a focus on vibrators.

When one says “vibrator” the first thing that comes to mind for a lot of people is the multifunction vibrator—the Rabbit. It’s famous for making an appearance in “Sex and the City” when the character Charlotte becomes addicted to the vibrator and refuses to leave her house. Let me just note here that although worries about addiction to sex toys and not wanting “real” sexual encounters are common, they are not true. A plastic toy cannot replace post-orgasm spooning and kisses; vibrators and dildos are no substitute for the real thing—they’re something to enhance your sex life. Also, vibrators are not just for girls. Believe me, there have been guys who’ve gotten off on foot massagers.

If you have never seen one, the Rabbit is pretty overwhelming at first. It’s made of colorful rubber material and consists of a penis-shaped shaft that contains rotating beads or pearls that stimulates the G-spot. The head of the shaft swivels and, on top of all that, the bunny rabbit sits at the base of the vibrator to tickle the clit with its ears. It is intense, complicated and usually not recommended for beginners. Some only end up using the tickling ears, which seems to me like a waste of 70-some dollars.

An interesting fact I recently learned about the Rabbit is that it originated in Japan, where there are laws prohibiting the sale of “realistic” sex toys. If you’ve ever wondered why some vibrators have faces on them or are in the shape of an animal, it’s because of this law. Kinda weird, but whatever.

Let’s talk about what is recommended for beginners. Think simple! You want to pick out something that is easy to use and easy to clean. Because beginners don’t know what intensity they enjoy, and you obviously can’t try these items out at the store, it’s recommended that first-timers get something with adjustable intensity. And in general, adjustable or not, electric vibrators are stronger than battery-operated ones, which is reflected in the price.

In terms of cleaning, it is advised that you put a condom on your sex toy, especially if you’re inserting it. You might think, “Why? I’m not sharing it with anyone.” But putting on a condom is protecting you from bacteria. If not cleaned properly, bacteria can grow, and I don’t think you want to insert that back into yourself. The materials that are easier to clean are plastic, glass, silicone and acrylic. Definitely use a condom with the more porous dildos and vibrators, like rubber and cyberskin.

You should clean plastic toys with a toy cleaner and pay them dry with a soft, lint-free cloth. With silicone or glass toys that don't vibrate or have electric parts, you can actually put them in boiling water, or even in the top rack of your dishwasher. Oil and silicone-based lube can damage these toys, so stick with water-based lube.

A newer type of vibrator that is popular is one that cups the vulva while stimulating the complete genital area, like the LayaSpot. They tend to be more “pretty” and don’t look like sex toys. Other types of discreet vibrators are the Tiny Touch and Fukuoku 9000(slips on your finger); these also tend to be cheaper and portable.

Finally, remember not to expect a life-changing experience with a new toy. There are a lot of people who rave about their purchase, but there are no guarantees. Talking to friends who already have one and asking lots of questions before buying are good ways to go. Don’t be deceived by the “quietness” when you turn on the demo at the store—trust me, it’s much louder in a quiet home (silicone toys tend to be quieter). My recent purchase of a vibrating cock ring was a complete flop—it tickles more than anything! I laughed uncontrollably at what sounded like my Sonicare toothbrush. Now it’s just sitting in my drawer. I should’ve listened to my own advice, and bought something with an intensity adjuster like the Ecstasy Pulsator.

Article by Akiko Ezuka